based on the Gilbert and Sullivan classic from The Pirates of Penzance, The Modern Major General.
[D] I am the very model of a toxic masculinity
[A] I've never thought to question all the rights that are bestowed on me,
[D] I know that women’s place is in the kitchen making sandwiches
[A]And that they never have the right to [E7] reject my [A] advancies
[A7] I'm very well acquainted, too, with violence and [Dm]misogyny,
[C7]If I don’t get my way you’ll feel the force of my [F]authority,
[A7]About the rights of men I am just teeming with a [Dm]lot o' news
[Bb7]And really hate those feminists with crazy and [A]extremist views,
[A] He really hates those feminists with crazy and extremist views! x3 – [B7] [C#]
[D] I'm very good at justifying all of my behaviours though,
[A] By blaming all the women that dare challenge my big egio,
[D] In short, in matters [A7] of respect, [D] compassion and [A7]integrity,
[D] I am the very [G] model [Em] of a [D]toxic [A7] mascu [D] linity
In short, in matters of respect, compassion and integrity,
He is the very model of a toxic masculinity
I teach children that I have to grow up just the way I did,
To never cry or care and beat the heck out of the other kid,
I quote Milo Yiannopolous and other men’s right activists,
Because I’m scared that women will soon see I’m a misogynist,
I can tell you of the victims of many a wild feminist,
Of how a women was promoted first and instead I was missed,
I’m known on the chatrooms, reddit, 4chan and the twittersphere,
And if I see a woman post I’ll spew my vile hatefilled smear
And if he sees a woman post he’ll spew his vile hatefilled smear! x 3
Then I can write a Facebook post establishing my manliness
And tell you of the women I assaulted with my handiness
In short, in matters of respect, compassion and integrity,
I am the very model of a toxic masculinity
In short, in matters of respect, compassion and integrity,
He is the very model of a toxic masculinity
In fact, when I know what is meant by chad, ghosting and gaslighting
When I can tell at sight the cover of a hustler magazine
When such affairs as laund-r-y and cleaning I’m more wary at
But then I know how good I look when wearing my new MAGA hat
When I have learnt what progress all the modern feminists have brought,
Like voting, workers rights and equal standing in the family court,
In short, it makes me furious that all my rights have gone away
I wish we could go back to when as a man I ruled the day
He wishes he could go back to when as a man he ruled the day ! x3
But if you suggest I should change I’ll respond quite hysterically,
How dare you question my behaviour, not all men are bad you see
For still, in matters of respect, compassion and integrity,
I am the very model of a toxic masculinity
But still in matters of respect, compassion and integrity,
He is the very model of a toxic masculinity