Diprotodon Blues

to Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive'    

Once upon a time, I was super-sized
There was nothing in the bush my teeth could not incise
I spent so many days,  just knocking down the trees
I sniffed the breeze
And I did just what I pleased

Now on the track I take less space
Down evolutions winding road it seems I’ve lost first place
I should have ate those stupid bipods,
Instead of letting them eat me
If I had known for just one second I’d be smaller than a tree

No I’ll grow, I’ll eat some more
Just chow on down now
I won’t be tiny anymore
I’m sick of living down in my tiny hole
It’s time to rumble!
I’ll take the title that you stole,

Oh yes now I’ll more than survive
For as long as I know how to grow, I know I'm sure to thrive,
I've got all my trees to eat,
And I'm so agile on me feet,
I will revive
I’ll super-size

Hey hey

I had to get real small, so I wouldn’t go extinct
When the ocean started moving, and life was on the brink,
And I spent more than a thousand years just shrinking down myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my paws up high
And you’ll see me, 9 foot two
I'm not that tiny little wombat you saw at the zoo
And when you feel like dropping in, expecting a cutee
I'll be savin' all my chewing for those who started eating me